Is Something Missing in Your Marriage or Relationship?
Do you feel like you and your partner live separate lives in the same house?
Are you experiencing more stress or conflict as a result of communication issues or changing priorities in your relationship?
Has a recent life transition, such as a job promotion/loss, relocation, child/elder care issues or family illness, sparked emotional tension and repeated arguments between you and your partner?
Are you and your partner worried that you have lost the intimacy, security and compassion that initially brought you together?
Do you wish you could regain the loving connection you once shared with your partner and move forward knowing your relationship is strong enough to withstand future obstacles?
When you feel disconnected from your partner in your relationship or marriage, it can be painful, frustrating, and at times, lonely. The excitement and energy of a new relationship can sustain you for a while but lives and relationships naturally change over time. You and your partner may begin to communicate with each other differently than you used to, and this shift can sometimes lead to misunderstanding, miscommunication, and hurt feelings. Patterns of miscommunication may not feel like they will ever resolve.
Misunderstanding between you and your partner may leave you wondering if there is something wrong with your relationship. Frequent arguments can make you feel like you are not being heard or your needs are not being met. In addition, heightened tension in your marriage or relationship can cause one or both of you to go silent and avoid the other, leaving the issues with your loved one unaddressed. Over time, you may begin to feel frustrated, anxious, depressed or resentful. Perhaps you even feel too exhausted to attempt to resolve your relationship issues, despite your desire to recapture that emotional bond and closeness that you once shared as a couple.
Most Couples Experience Challenges Along The Way
Nearly every couple faces challenges in their relationship—it's inevitable. Few couples go through life without feeling a sense of loss or experiencing periods of stress or unhappiness. These periods of difficulty—like the death of a loved one, a job change, a parent's illness, loss of trust, the birth of a child, or other family stressors—can impact you on many levels and can have a ripple effect in your marriage or relationship. Stress and anxiety can contribute to breakdowns in communication and vice versa, resulting in increased emotional distance or continued conflict.
When difficult times arise, it's also very common for partners to feel unheard and under appreciated. A couple may pull away from each other. Infidelity or reduced sexual desire can impact trust and communication, which may leave partners feeling more like platonic roommates rather than romantic intimates. Sometimes one or both partners may allow other aspects of their lives (such as work, hobbies, friendships, other relationships or activities) to take on more importance than the commitment to their relationship. In many instances, one partner may feel neglected, and if that partner’s feelings go unaddressed, it can be enough to lead to separation or divorce.
The good news is that with the support and assistance of an empathic, compassionate and experienced couples therapist, you have the opportunity to rediscover that feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction that you once had as a couple.
Couples Counseling Can Help Reinvigorate Your Relationship
The first step in making change and growing your relationship is believing that you can. When you both are committed to identifying how you would like things to be, the results can be transformative. Once you have communicated your desired future as a couple, you can begin to develop—and reinvigorate—a deeper, more flexible, more fulfilling loving connection.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have addressed many of the common issues that couples face. I know you and your partner may be struggling to regain the connection you once shared, and you may even feel hopeless. But the truth is, no matter how long you've been facing relationship difficulties, couples therapy can help you make meaningful change and can help you begin to heal and grow. Through counseling, my hope is that as you identify problems and articulate goals, you gradually move away from a focus on the problems and you begin to move toward your preferred life path as a couple.
During our initial session, we will work together and develop a specific therapy plan that will meet your particular needs and concerns as a couple. I honor your best hopes for therapy, and I will draw upon your strengths, resources, and resilience to help you envision—and then move toward—your preferred future.
Together, we will emphasize the satisfying and successful parts of your relationship, what made it strong, and how your resilience has helped you endure times of struggle. This is important because the good moments of a relationship can often be overshadowed, even invisible to both partners, especially when you are dealing with problems and stress. Through attentive listening and thoughtful question asking, I will help you harness your imagination in a way that brings those happier times forward in our sessions and so that you can build on them outside of counseling.
Our work together will be focused on you and your partner or spouse identifying, building, and maintaining effective solutions to your specific relationship challenges. I will help you notice, week by week, the changes you and your spouse or partner are making in an effort to reconnect and recapture the love and intimacy that drew you together in the first place. By highlighting the positive attributes of your connection, you and your partner can be better equipped to handle potential future obstacles on your own.
While it's common to feel like your relationship will never change, the truth is that with the support of an experienced therapist, you and your partner always have hope to learn and grow together.
You may still have concerns about couples counseling
I’m not sure my partner or spouse is able to make a commitment to change.
It’s not uncommon for there to be some uncertainty, even skepticism, among couples considering counseling. Once you both have taken the initial steps to reach out and to show up together in my office, there is a chance. Our sessions will provide you with a space where each of you can share what is going on in your lives and relationship. There is an opportunity, then, to break free of the same old argument patterns that seem to keep happening again and again. While I can’t guarantee that your spouse or partner will change, I can tell you that by attending sessions, there is hope. When you and your partner or spouse come for counseling together, you become accountable for what you communicate to each other, and you become accountable to the process of counseling.
Remember: when one partner starts to make healthy changes, the relationship improves, regardless of the choices the other partner is making.
I Think That We Need Help, But Isn’t Counseling Expensive?
Couples counseling is an investment in yourself and your relationship. While generally more time-consuming and challenging that individual counseling, you and your spouse or partner decide how long you wish to remain in counseling, whether a session or two, a month or two, or longer. It will depend on what issue you would like help with and how committed you feel to making change.
Consider this: Divorce is usually more expensive than couples counseling, not to mention the emotional and financial toll separation can take.
What If Other Problems Come Up? What If Our Goals Change?
It is not uncommon for other issues to bubble up during the counseling process. You are probably considering therapy in order to help you and your partner deal with relationship challenges, whatever they may be. I provide an empathic, supportive, caring, compassionate, and confidential environment where you can feel safe exploring the issues that are troubling you, and where you can find hope and opportunities for growth.
Remember, counseling is most effective when you and your partner are addressing the concerns that matter to you the most.
Fortify your bond with your partner and move forward in a rewarding life
If you and your partner are interested in working together toward your preferred future as a couple, please call me at 424-443-8548 to schedule a FREE 15-minute phone consultation. If you prefer, you can contact me via this contact form to request a consultation or schedule an initial appointment. I am happy to discuss your relationship needs and answer any questions you may have about couples counseling.
I will do my very best to get back to your voicemail or email within 24 hours (or the next business day). If sending an inquiry by email, please limit your communications as email is generally not a secure or confidential medium.